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GhostWolf's Writings

The articles listed here were ones that I wrote and posted to a recovery-oriented newsgroup. I found the newsgrouip quite by accident in late 1992 while rebuilding my computer after a system crash wiped it out. Unfortunately, the advent of the web resulted in the newsgroup being flooded with spam.

Finding recovery-oriented newsgroups proved to be a pivotal point in my life; exposing me to my own denial about many dysfunctional areas of my life.

Abusers, Survivors, and Self Hate
In early 1993, several posters were questioning why they hated themselves for not being able to stop their abusers; sharing that part of their self-hatred was because their bodies had reacted to the abusers. What follows is what I posted in response to those threads.

How to Kill Love
My prior marriage was over for years before I finally emerged from denial and realized it. I shared the struggles by posting to a newsgroup - This post shared how my ex-wife had slowly but surely poisoned - killed - whatever love I once had for her.

The Perpetuation of Perpetration
I have long wondered how abuse transfers from generation to generation... and a flame war on a newsgroup directed at recovering abusers provided the trigger.

Caution: This article contains explicit descriptions of sexual abuse and pedophilia, and has triggered people who are not abuse survivors. If you are an abuse survivor, be aware reading this article may result in abreaction and flashbacks.

Recovery: Journey - or goal?
I had posted that recovery is a life-long journey... and one of my friends questioned that... this is what I posted in response...

Recovery vs. Perpetuation
My perspectives about recovery, triggers, and the perpetuation of abuse; posted to a recovery newsgroup.

Repercussions: Caretaking
There was a thread on a recovery newsgroup discussing the long-term repercussions - the emotional and mental scarring - of being made to do unpleasant things by the abusers. This is an expansion of one of my posts in that thread.

I responded to a suicidal post on a newsgroup, sharing the lessons that suicide teaches the survivors.

What If?
One participant on a recovery newsgroup posted the question:
      "How do you feel you would have turned out if you
      had never been abused? What and who would you be?"

Why Dig into the Past?
A friend of mine responded to one of my posts, expressing his need to know what happened in his past, and wondering about the link between the events of childhood and their impact on the present; in effect asking "Why dig into the past?.

Words Do Hurt
The following was written in response to a prolonged series of flame wars on a newsgroup - which I read, but did not participate in - until this post... There was a lot of name-calling, denigration, and more going on, and it kept getting worse... this was my response...

Ritualized Abuse
My replies to a "survey" regarding ritual abuse that was posted on a newsgroup.

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Last updated: Saturday, 03-Jan-2015 18:13:15 PST