Shape Shift


Years of struggling... years of pain...
  small victories here and there intermingled with
    the pressures of life... bills, utilities...
  Fighting to stay barely alive...

Years of learning, striving, overcoming the repercussions;
  only to turn around and try to help the one closest
    overcome her own terrors, her own pains...
  trying to show by example how to break the cycle,
    the horrendous cycle of being abused/abusing...
      trying to help her comprehend the link...
  trying, and receiving only rejection and denial...

            <mindflash: deep forests, snowy mountains>


Years blend, formless, mindless... and suddenly
  20 years have passed... and her anger is no less...
Places merge one into another,
    jobs merge one into another, shapeless, formless...

            <mindflash: cool winds, a haunting call...>


...an endless succession of struggles on the treadmill          
     of uncaring society...
       A society that conditions all to want, strive,
         work to attain that which they have not..
   A society and culture of things
     above love, belongings above caring,
       A culture that ignores the wounded,
         discarding them on the trash-heap of neglect..

            <mindflash: swift forms... fleeting furred shapes...>


Striving to provide, battling overwhelming pressures,
  trying to find even a moment's peace,
    a hint of calm within the storm...
  Hungering to form a team that can work together,
    stand united, insular, strong against the dark tides...

  Only to see family attack family,
    turn against each other - and me - in ravening anger...
      that I dare try to find peace...
        to help them understand each other...

            <mindflash: shapes... shape-shift...>


Reality shifts, Spiraling inward to unseen depths,
  feeling my being stretch and compress in impossible directions...
    muscles bunching, regrouping in new patterns...
      scents never before known... Colors never before seen...
         ...Sounds never before heard... 
   
     ...shape shift...

Looking out on a different world through golden yellow eyes...
  Muzzle stretched to the winds, the wood-scented winds... 
    winds ruffling thick grey-tipped fur and tickling pointed ears,
      ears twitching, absorbing the myriad sounds of life...

  Awareness of powerful muscles rippling beneath fur,
    four powerful legs, the feel of soft rich earth beneath 
       the pads... the feeling and knowledge of freedom...


  The longing for others of my kind...
    To race the wind through the trees, united, caring....
  The hunger for a life-mate, a team-mate, a help-mate
    with whom to share the wonders of life,
      the hunger for a unified family, working, playing together,
        helping each other, sharing and romping and full
          of Love...

   

     ...shape shift...

...and the world comes crashing back in...


                     March 14th, 1994
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Last updated: Saturday, 03-Jan-2015 18:12:55 PST