Destiny -- or Karma?

...to Amou

Night comes, bringing stillness, solitude, and the quiet time of soft introspection... In the peaceful hours past midnight, when the bustle and hurry of the day is gone; when the faceless crowds and their distractions have disappeared; when the stillness of the midnight sky enables thought to proceed undisturbed... when I am here, alone, with but the computers, working... My mind leaves the present, and once again journeys to the dim swirling mists of yesterday... Once again, I walk paths that are but dim memories; remembering days and nights of solitude, loneliness... I remember questioning the meaning of existence, of life... of Love... and; there were times I thought I was adjusted, fulfilled, even happy... Yet, something was missing; something vital, and I knew not what it was... There were other times when depression, anguish, bitterness seized me in their iron grip, a cold merciless grasp that threatened extinction... and I struggled on... Yet... even the most determined have final limits; and; the time came when I resigned myself to mere existence, and ceased to quest.... At that very time, you, WildCat, came into my life... profoundly disturbing it, making me once again question, seek meaning, purpose, value to life... This was not your intent, yet it was your impact upon the life of one who had ceased to live... You drew me out of my self-imposed shell, little knowing that I would impact you in similar manner... What could describe the impact we have on one another? A supernova? Surely, the results were no less to our lives than the results of a nova to that of a star... All I knew was that my life had suddenly taken on direction; even though I knew not whence that direction would would finally lead... For both of us, the Lioness and the Wolfman... Our cataclysmic meeting meant an end to isolation, even though we both had been wounded, even though we both had retreated into private worlds... Our souls met, and in meeting, fused... Our very beings and strengths uniquely suited to the needs and dreams of each other... And, you and I pondered the convoluted paths that brought us together, paths full of pain and suffering; paths that could have diverged in so many places... but did not... Together, WildCat, you and I explored... and wisely saw that there will be times of crisis, times of trouble, times of strife... And, together, we explored and found wondrous ways to defuse many of those times before they happen, ways to deal too with ones unknown... You and I also saw that there will be times of laughter, exploration, companionship... and working together to triumph... And; triumph we will, for we Love and are Beloved of each other; we have both endured much, overcome much, survived much... together, we have overcome many problems, drawing on the unique strengths within ourselves and each other... I ponder quietly the circle of life... and I know beyond certainty I would rather have you than any kind of security the world could offer; for what are riches when there is no one to share? Can riches, can money give Love? Share Dreams? Build a future? Share laughter? No... But you, WildCat, can... and do... Can anything the world offers provide wisdom, strength, love, compassion in times of Crisis? No... But you, NalaCat, can.. and do... In the depths of my being I know that no one can fulfill me the way you fulfill me; make me laugh the way you do, play the way you do, relax the way you do... No one but you enables me to release my love the way you do... and; I would have it no other way... Looking back at the hard paths traveled, the pains endured... I can finally say that I am glad such was my path, for gone now are the days of solitude, gone are the nights alone... I can only say that even though the road ahead is long, and many things unknown lie ahead... I would choose none other but you, WildCat to travel that road with, to fulfill our Destiny... Because... I Love You... October 12, 1994

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Last updated: Saturday, 03-Jan-2015 18:12:18 PST